TAKE ME AWAY

RAEL-

I fucking hate you....you made my life a living hell...you broke me...you're the reason I am who I am today...you made me hate people...you made me hate myself....you made me question everything and everyone...you took away the good part of me...you made me give up so much...I gave you so much...

and what did I get in return?

abuse...heartbreak..

I HATE YOU..

I've never hated anyone as much as I hate you...never in my life will I remember something as much as I remember our time spent together..


I used to believe in so much...I used to be a nice person...I used to enjoy life...I used to be happy...I used to appreciate things....but now...now I'll never be the same...never again will I be the real me..

I can't be the same anymore...and it sucks because so many people are missing out on who I used to be..

I try to be that person I once was, but then I remember all of the things he did and I realize that I can't trust people...I can't believe anything...

:(

I wish I could forget all of it...it's been about 6 years now...and I can't forget it...

ANYWAYS....ughh

I went to the clinic at the University yesterday...got me some Flexeril (Cyclobenzaprine)

doesn't work worth shit...in fact it just makes me pass out...that's all...whoever came up with the idea that this relaxes your muscles is full of shit...in fact it's a tricyclic and was used for depression and whatnot...so why is it prescribed for muscle spasms?

God I HATE college life...I look out my window and watch all these kids partying...I don't want to be in that position..I don't want to go to random parties...play beer pong or do stupid shit....I like to drink nice mixed drinks and drink socially at gatherings or bon fires or whatever...I find most college students are really annoying and obnoxious and not too mention slutty...ewww

how can you even be like that? why?

I've never understood any of this..

anyways...not much else going on in life right now...I just want to disappear...

STILL...

ughhh...permanent vacation please?

take me away