SEX

Here I am again sitting alone in my dark dorm....sitting at my desk chugging down a glass bottle of starbucks mocha frappucino....you're damn right....starbucks is way over rated..their products aren't that amazing...I've had better...in fact, Borders has better coffee, and frozen beverages...anyways...I'm also eating a kit-kat bar...what's going on with this chocolate fixation I've had lately? It's not like I'm pregnant...maybe it's because it's cold, wet and snowy out....that's right...Northeast Ohio saw its first snow today....not that great..I'm sick of Ohio weather...it's so unpredicatable..one day it's 90 degress and sweltering, and the next day it fucking snows...how ridiculous is that?

My right eye has been twitching for 2 days in a row now...none of my eyes have EVER twitched...ever...it feels like there's a fly in my eye trying to fly out but can't so he's fluttering around...it's driving me crazy! I feel like a mad man!! Isn't that stereotypical? a mad man with a twitchy eye? isn't that usually pretty accurate though lol...just kidding...

I don't know...it just seems like twitchy eyed people are a little more crazy than ummm the less crazy people? although that leads back to the conversation who is crazy and who isn't?

So I came up with the conclusion that a ritual is an unspoken language...symbols are words...and rituals are sentences...symbols make up rituals like words make up sentences...

anyways..my day has completely sucked...first of all it snowed...and then i did shitty on a test...and then I got sick...and it all went down hill from there..AHHHH!!

I don't know what the hell is going on with me but I'm going fucking insane...it's withdrawl from my old ways...which is completely opposite of what I do now...I used to be out everyday with all sorts of people, laugh, play stupid board games, cook, argue about religion lol, attend bonfires..

now...now I'm lifeless...it's ridiculous...I do nothing...talk to no one..see no one...go nowhere ahhh!!

but at least I'm in college right? yeah that's all that matters....NOT

I hate college!!!

It's so much worse than what I thought it would be..it's not challenging enough..it's elementary...it's all common knowledge...all they want you to learn is fancy vocabulary...where the hell is that going to get you??

You need skills...or talent..something..not a book full of useless big words..


anyways...Alura just totally distracted me!! why does my best friend have to live in Kentucky?? we have KFC up here....haha kidding...

no really...why?

It sucks...as if I didn't know long distance relationships don't work...I have to deal with long distance friendships...but honestly it's made our bond even stronger...I wish it would be the same with relationships..but now...there's that whole physical intimacy thing...oh yeah...what is that called? SEX...

god...I'm sorry I have no libido at the moment...but for some foresaken reason..I seem to be the person of interest with medical conditions!! maybe I'm just a big medical experiment...scoliosis...spinal stenosis...herniated discs...hormal inbalances, lightheadedness, arthritis...I just turned 18 for Christs sake! JUST TURNED...I was diagnosed with this shit at 13 years old...what the hell is wrong with me?

I must be old....13 with all this crazy bullshit...ahh my lifespan wont be too long if it keeps going this way...

that's ok..

anyways duty calls....have to finish English paper.