I'm a failure....a miserable failure...I've done it all myself...it's all my fault...there are stronger people out there who can rise up against all of their problems and shit, but not me...apparently I'm the weaker one..I'm weak..
I can't rise up against anything...
so instead of trying to make my life better I make it even more miserable...how the hell does that make sense? and when my life gets more miserable I fall deeper and deeper into this bottomless pit...it consumes me in this vicious circle...because I feel miserable I do things that are bad that in the long run make my life more miserable...and then because I become more miserable from doing whatever I did...I do something else that makes me miserable..
I should be trying to turn things around...
why can't I just do something right and fix everything?
I don't know how...or where to start...or what to do...I feel like I have this heavy weight that I'm always carrying...this heavy weight that has fucked up my back...my mind...everything...and it's all self inflicted pain....self induced....MY FAULT
what a dumb ass I am...
I don't know what to do from here...I've already fucked it all up....
It really is the truth when they say you only have one chance..believe it
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